They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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