I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
