we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
