I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
