so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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