i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
