I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
