Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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