____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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