Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
FUCK WHALES
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
