we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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