I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
