i think i have two assholes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
