found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
