we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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