I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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