I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
