Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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