Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
