Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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