you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
