what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
