It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
