Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
