Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
