i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
