No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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