They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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