His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
