that's an acceptable place to lick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
