as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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