arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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