K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You know, be my cock's hype man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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