i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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