got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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