i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
