:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
