Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
