I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
