the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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