We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
