I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
