I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
