these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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