Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
