the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
