Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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