dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize