worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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