this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
