Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
