he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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