The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
