Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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