I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
