her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
