So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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