you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
its not stalking. its research.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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