Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
