ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
