it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
