just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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