But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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