So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
