im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize