You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
