she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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